These are some other signs of a high conflict divorce:

• There is a history of physical/emotional abuse between the partners 
• One partner has financial control over the other partner 
• When someone says they do not earn much or no income, but is living very comfortably like a middle or upper class (class income)
• If a partner hired a high-conflict lawyer 
• A partner having mental health issues such as personality disorders
• Excessive use of drugs and alcohol 
• If a parent tries to turn away (alienate) their child from the other parent in obvious or sneaky ways. 

Which personality disorder is most likely involved in high conflict divorce?

Narcissistic personality disorder is the most common disorder that’s involved in high conflict divorce. People with that disorder would view separation in a negative way as it can give them a bad image. Therefore, they would blame their ex-partner for everything and sometimes have outbursts as they lack empathy.

Discuss why your only option is to work on your reaction to your narcissistic ex?

Changing your narcissistic ex-partner is not an option as they would be difficult to change. This is why it’s better for you to control your own reactions to their behaviour because this will you allow you to find better methods to communicate with your ex-partner.  

Discuss why it is important that the courts intervene early on.

Early intervention by the courts is important because when parents cannot get along during separation, they would use their children as a way to hurt each other. This means children will be used as weapons by their parents to create more conflict. The courts call this parent alienation which should be addressed immediately.   

Why are Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) not available to high conflict divorces?

Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) is not available for high conflict divorces because people that are involved in a high conflict divorce usually have personality disorders or personality types. People that suffer from these disorders would make it extremely difficult to handle the separation in a peaceful manner.  

Can judges force a party to pay for counselling?

The judges can ask a parent to pay for counselling if they are responsible for parent alienation that negatively impacted the child. 

What is the overriding principle that judges consider for children?

The overriding principle that judges consider for children is making decisions that benefit the best interest of the child. 

What advice is given regarding bad mouthing your ex?

You should never bad mouth your ex-partner around or directly to your child no matter what your ex-partner has done to you. That will only involve the child into the situation and hurt them more than anyone. 

What are some common patterns with high conflict personalities?

People with high-conflict personalities have common patterns such as extreme ways of thinking, not being able to control their emotions, behave in extreme or threatening ways, and values blaming others a lot. 

Why are high conflict divorces expensive?

High-conflict divorces can be expensive because people can spend years in court as partners would have a hard time to reach an agreement on their issues such as child custody or visitation and dividing properties. This could lead to lawyers spending more time on the case which can be costly. Furthermore, family law lawyers would use private investigators, accountants, and so on if additional experts are needed which is also expensive.    

What problems do the children of these unions end up with?

Most children are negatively impacted by high-conflict divorces which could lead to problems for them such as struggling with making friends, feeling upset or sad, feeling low about themselves, and having trouble building and trusting relationships later on. Additionally, this could impact the child’s education and family relationships.    

Why is going to court often the best approach with high conflict separation?

High-conflict separation and divorce cannot be solved through self-representation because ex-partners would be influenced by their emotions and only care to cause pain for each other rather than being logical. Therefore, working with a lawyer that has required experience and is successful in handling high-conflict situations is the better approach. 

What are the three strategies that can be employed to reduce conflict?

The three strategies that can reduce conflict:

• Maintain Boundaries: Always remove yourself whenever the conversation turns into an argument. You can walk away, close the door, or hang up the phone. You cannot control other people’s behaviour except yourself, so you do not have to stay and argue with your partner.
• Recognize your partner’s tactics: People that love to create conflict would often find ways to provoke an argument or get their way such as threatening you, trying to make you feel sorry for them (sympathy), or creating lies to make you give in. You must be aware of their attempts and ways of trying to emotionally manipulate you and to start arguments. 
• Take care of yourself: High-conflict divorce can be very stressful and it would be hard to deal with it all alone. You should take care of yourself by finding time to relax and enjoy activities, spend time with family and friends to get support, and speak with a counsellor.  

What are some constructive suggestions to minimize the children’s involvement in the high conflict divorce?

In order to minimize the children’s involvement in a high conflict divorce, it has been suggested that you should not speak about the divorce and never involve them in arguments with your ex. If you need to communicate with your ex-partner do not use the child as the messenger and directly speak with your ex-partner. Furthermore, try your best not to express your negative emotions about your ex-partner to the children.   

Why is it a good idea to seek counselling during litigation?

It is a good idea to seek counselling during litigation because you may be unaware that you are causing problems to make it a high-conflict situation. Speaking with a counsellor will allow you to identify if your behaviour has  negative patterns. Additionally, counsellors would help you learn better ways to communicate to make the divorce easier for everyone.